Questions

Life is full of questions. From "why is there a hole in the bic biro" and "why is the milka cow lilac" to "why can't management find their arse with both hands and a map" and "why can't project managers manage projects".

I'm happy with the first two questions, something to do with air/ink flow and marketing respectively, the third question is an utter mystery as we all know but I think I have the answer to the last one.

It's because none of our project managers actually talk to our customers.

Now I realise this is quite radical but actually talking to the customer does not cause the end of the world or cause the sky to fall in on our heads. No,no,no. On the contrary, in my experience, talking to the customer avoids mistakes. Customers like to give their input. They know stuff that we don't and they, ultimately, hold all the cash so in general, being nice to them can be a good thing.

Obviously there are lots of customers who are complete James Blunt's, but only because no-body ever spoke to them to find out what they needed. Imagine if we hadn't expended all that time and energy actively avoiding them but had spent a 10th of it having a quick chat.

But no, project managers are scared of customers. "Can you just ask the customer this please Daisy?" Yeah, right. I'll add it to the list of things that are actually the responsibility of other people but that they can't actually be arsed to do.

Running

I'm not sure how this happened as I was completely sober at the time but I have somehow managed to provisionally sign up to being in a corporate team for running the Bath half marathon again next year. I guess now I've done it once (last year) I have a Personal Best to beat...Ok so my PB is 2hrs57 but that's not bad for an asthmatic who only started running 6 months before.

However, despite my grand words at the time, I have singularly failed to keep up the running. So now I need to start training again, which is fine because once I get started I'll really enjoy it. It's just quite difficult to actually get off my arse and make a start.

2 of my friends have made a pledge to avoid alcohol for the next 6 months and I'm thinking this might be a good idea, would go well with the training. Maybe I'll try too. Of course I can hear you say, I'll give her 3 weeks before she twists a knee, hurts her back and succumbs to a G&T, and maybe you're right. Then again, what do you know, maybe it will go really well.


In other news, the builders who are digging holes in my garden (in lieu of any actually 'proper' building) have uncovered a fireplace behind some plaster in the utility room. When I say fireplace I don't mean one of those Time Team type post holes where they dig a hole and then speculate wildly and try to convince the viewer that actually there was once a lump of wood there honest. No, this is a real fireplace, made of stone and about shoulder height. In my utility/cloakroom. A huge gothic stone fireplace in my downstairs loo. How mad is that!

The benefits of working for managers who can't be arsed

I had my performance review at work yesterday. My boss used to work for the company that took us over (sorry, sorry, "merged" with us) a while back and as such is an expert in his product but not in the 2 products that I deal with.

This is generally a good thing.

A) I get to say things like "it'll take me 6 weeks to do that" and I am believed (I'm always honest, it will take me 6 weeks, what with my OU assignment that I have to do as well)

B) I get to be the font of all knowledge about things and my boss constantly refers to me for answers

Sometimes it's a bad thing

A) nobody really cares if it takes me 6 weeks to do anything

B) I get to be the font of all knowledge about things and my boss constantly refers to me for answers - i.e. I get all the crappy "Can you just deal with this difficult question please?" kind of emails


But best of all yesterday I was offered the carrot of becoming "Technical team lead" for stuff that my boss has no interest in knowing about. He was quite honest about it, he couldn't really care less and needs me to deal with it leaving him to do stuff that he likes to do. So i guess it's a kind of promotion. of sorts. ish.

There's no extra money in it, obviously. Just the faint promise that in 6 months I might get bumped up a grade if I prove myself.

In the meantime I get to....actually get things done!

All those times I've thought "oh for christ's sake give it here, I'll do it".....just goes to show you should always be careful what you wish for.

I'm off for a beer.

Brown bags

The management-monkeys have a new term...."Brown bag seminars".

stop sniggering.

apparently it refers to what we used to call "Lunch and learn" sessions which pretty much does what it says on the tin. The difference between a "lunch and learn" session and a "brown bag seminar" seems to be that the latter requires you to buy your own lunch and also makes people think of winos on park benches drinking out of bottles wrapped in brown paper bags.

But the best part is, these "Brown bag seminars" are not even going to be a lunch time! Due to the way our company is cunningly structured with offices in 3 locations all 8 hours apart, these sessions are going to be at 5.30 UK time.

err, hello? 5.30? hands up all those who seriously think I'm going to forgo a swift exit to the pub for one of these things.