National halfwit day

was today, although the do seem to practice quite a lot so sometimes it's quite difficult to tell.

First we had: trying to do a lookup in a file that the developer has created himself only he's used id's that don't match his data. This is like saying I'm looking in this file for a row with id=1234, I've created this file myself only I didn't put a row in it with the id '1234'.
But rather than work this out (it should be bleedin obvious to anyone who has ever programmed anything or ever done a logic puzzle) they 'escalate' the issue up to the higher management monkeys who run around like headless chickens until someone asks me and I take on the role of Captain Obvious and point it out to everyone.

Personally I would feel a right muppet if someone pointed out that I'd made such a schoolboy error but no, these people are not embarrassed in the slightest.

Then we had "you've written 'do not remove any functionality' in this document and we're not happy about it, please change the wording". The reason it says 'do not remove any functionality' is because you halfwits keep tinkering with stuff and screwing it up. If it ain't broke don't fix it. And the sky is not about to fall in on our heads just because you don't like the way I have worded my document, it's my document I'll put in what I like thank you very much.

Then we had "you've given both these things the same name and they need to have different names" - oh no! sack me now. Turns out I'm human after all. Just rename one of them and GET ON WITH THE SODDING JOB.

Then we had "I got xxxx to count this for me". Well I guess it's too much to ask a management monkey to be able to count themselves, maybe that's what delegation is all about.

See - national halfwit day.